The "Bukkit": A tale of awesomeness and friendship.

Now, I know you're going to say, "What the fuck? This girl can't spell bucket right. I can't follow her blogs anymore, she's illiterate." But bear with me here. See, my friend Lubie (names are changed to personal nicknames for protection. She could be dangerous guys. Just saying.) decided she was going to go back to college. I support her on this idea, because she's a young girl with nothing better to do with her time except to explore the Internet looking for random saying t-shirts and sex paraphernalia. 


So, a little over a year ago, I chose to buy her a few fun school things. Stickers, bright eye shadow, non chipping black fingernail polish, and a few other things. But, because she moved around a lot and it took forever to get her address, and on top of the fact that I placed the package out of sight, I didn't end up sending it to her until this year.


What started out as a few things on her list that she needed, like highlighters and post it notes, turned into a school shopping frenzy. I never really know how to just get the things I need and leave it at that. Instead, I chose to get her a few extra things that would be a surprise and that I know she would like. So, I called up my friend Eeka, told her about this pet project of mine, and off we went. 


Now, Lubie is easily entertained. She's like a big kid, still in love with Hello Kitty. Smart, I may add. Possibly to smart for her own good. Once I told her that I was going to get her school supplies sent off, she about bounced right out of her pants. 


Eeka and I stopped off first at a dollar store. Not a traditional dollar store, where everything is a dollar, but close enough. When we walked in, with her 1 year old son in tote, I was a bit disappointed to see that their school aisle was very small. There wasn't much left to it, and this was because school was already underway. So I sifted through the random odds and ends looking for the things she needed, and then some extras. 


With Eeka's son sitting in the main part of the smallest cart I have ever seen in my entire life, I had to carry most of my measly possessions in my hands, because he kept taking what I put in and throwing it out. So here I am, standing in this aisle with a note book in one hand, and a handful of mini sharpies in the other. As I turned the corner, I found the actual dollar aisle. Like a kid in a candy store, I flipped through that shit like it was going out of style. Mini notebooks, stickers, bracelets, pencils, fake tattoos. I grabbed everything that looked about as stupid as what you'd get for a kid you didn't know or care about. Luckily though, I was already told that Lubie preferred stupid little stuff. 


So here I am, wandering around the store with my arms full of crap, when I find even more fake tattoos. This time, with glitter! OH HAPPY DAYS!! This, is a bonus. Lubie LOVES glitter. I don't just mean love, I mean.. she'd hump the shit out of a watermelon if someone told her she could have a whole tube of glitter. Sparkling, shining, glitter. As I turn around, I noticed there were coloring books behind me. Now, distracted as I get, which is pretty damn easily, I found for myself a number fill in book. You know how hard those things are to find?! I've been looking for a few years now, and here it was. Smack dab in this tiny little store just a few short blocks from my house. I grabbed one for me, and a word find for Lubie, when I noticed the biggest abomination on the face of the planet!


"NOOOOO!! THIS! IS! WRONG!" I think I may have actually screamed that. I'm juggling a hand full of mini sharpies, fake tattoo's, books, notepads, and random other things, while snatching a My Little Pony coloring book out of its resting spot and glaring at it like I could actually make it change. 


Here, in my full yet angry little hands, is this.. new version of My Little Pony. They look like cats that sniffed to much crack! Not that I've seen a cat that sniffed to much crack, but this was close enough. I was appalled! Outraged! Horrified! This wasn't the My Little Pony of my childhood! This was some altered, mangled, anime-like version that would probably have given me nightmares had I been 7 again. I flipped through the pages angrily muttering to myself. Through my fingers slipped the carefully selected purchases for Lubie, already long forgotten in my rage.

"THIS IS WRONG! VERY WRONG!"

Around this time, Eeka came and pulled me out of my angry, yet silent, reverie. I shoved the coloring book back in it's slot, exclaiming the entire time to Eeka about how they just ruined a classic. The whole time, she's eyeballing me like I've lost my mind, and her son is chomping away on the handle of the cart. I collected the things I had dropped, and rounded the corner of the aisle. I had to get away from that abomination before I set it on fire. I'm still debating on writing to the creators of My Little Pony and asking them what kind of drugs they've been taking lately. My first assumption would be acid, but I digress.


Low and behold, the next aisle turned out to be a school supply shoppers wet dream. Eeka even pointed out this humongous eraser that said, for BIG mistakes. I couldn't pass that up. Lubie had just had a rather hard time lately, and it was a good indicator that she could easily erase the big mistakes of her past. Well, that's what I had hoped. I know you can't really, but I at least thought it was funny, and Lubie would understand. So in the cart it went, along with a giant pack of sharpies and a few packs of post it notes. 


Now, I know I said that Lubie was amorous for glitter, but that's nothing compared to how insane she is for sharpies. My goal, was to get her as many different colored sharpies as I could possibly find. I tossed in an 8 pack of those little bastards, and a couple of single ones as well. They didn't have all the colors in the 8 pack, so I had to get a few extras.

 I also found her some rather bright eye shadow, a couple of hair clips and some black nail polish. We paid for our purchases and off we went to Walmart. That's when this horrible thought struck me.






I could not get her things into the manila envelope that I had picked out for her a year ago.




Plus, I forgot stickers.




Thank God we were going to Walmart. Eeka had to get a few things, and I had to find a box of sorts to get all this crap stuffed into and sent out. Only, I forgot that Walmart had a bigger section of school supplies, and again, I went nuts. I ran around that section like there weren't already a hundred people crammed into 5 dinky aisles. I snatched things out from in front of people, squeezed between children like I was 20 lbs skinnier and darted in and out of aisles like a kid at Christmas. 

Crazy lady coming through, watch out! 

More sharpies were procured in this adventure, including another giant pack that had just ONE color that Lubie didn't. There went 8 bucks for one sharpie. 


Eeka, unbeknownst to how crazy I was going at the moment, pointed out this cute little blue dinosaur cup that allowed you to drink out of it's tail. A "Sippersaurus" they called it. I snatched that out of her hand like she might light it on fire and melt it's plastic ass at any second. I felt a little like Golem in the Lord of the Rings. Mine. My own. My precious.. well, for my precious Lubie anyways. 

My sharpies. My own. My precious.

I have no idea what's wrong with me, I don't try to control it. I just go with the flow. It hurts no one really. 


I found a Hello Kitty pencil bag that I thought would hold all this shit, some hello kitty stickers, a few more note books, a funky looking calculator, and different colored pens. Once shopped out for school supplies, I left my insanity behind me and decided to come back to the normal world of helping my friend, who thankfully put up with my crazy ass for so long, to shop for the things she needed. That's when I found.. The Bukkit! It was just a regular old, plastic storage tote for things such as I had bought, with a lid that snapped on by two handles. For 4 bucks, I figured that Lubie could carry all her stuff in there to school with her. 


I don't know what the hell I was thinking, because it was quite obvious that this bukkit of sorts would be to big to fit in any normal sized backpack. But I bought it anyways. It was sturdy, and it would last the shipping process from Ohio to Texas. Once we left Walmart, Eeka took me to UPS to get it shipped off. In the back of her Blazer, I tore open packages, and stuffed as much as I could into that pencil bag. Only, I got about half of it in there before I realized that I couldn't get the damn thing zipped up. So I decided that if I could just get the sharpies and highlighters in there, it would be worth it. Everything else, I just poured into the bukkit. Once closed and the lid tightly locked into place, I damn near danced my way into the store with this "Oh-my-God-I'm-such-an-awesome-friend" look on my face. 

I bounced up to the counter, proud of myself more then any person could possibly be proud of themselves, and plopped the bukkit up onto the counter. I was beaming. The lady behind the counter, on the other hand, thought I was nuts, but I didn't care. I was awesome! 


"Uh, do you want to ship this like it is, or would you like a box?" she asked. 


"A box please!" I practically sang.


She found the most perfect box, that fit snugly around the bukkit, and cut it down to size. She then taped it with what I thought was tender affection, only because I was so elated at having finally accomplished my goal. I was high. High off my awesomeness. She was probably just taping it with the same tenderness she would tape any ones package. Plus, it was almost 5 o'clock. She was probably silently cursing me for being a last minute shipper.


I didn't care, I didn't see it. I just wanted to ship it off and call Lubie up and say, YOU'RE GETTING YOUR PACKAGE TOMORROW!


Only, it didn't happen that way. After 20$, a million things to sign for, insurance to discuss and 3 phone calls that interrupted my sales lady, she informed me that the package wouldn't get there till next Friday. Today was Thursday. A whole week! A WHOLE WEEK! I could feel myself deflating like an over sized balloon with a million holes. Lubie started school Monday. This was supposed to be there before then. I just paid 20 bucks for standard shipping! 


I grabbed my receipt and shuffled out of the door with the woman saying thank you and have a good night in an entirely way to chipper voice. I made it out to the car without killing anyone, got inside and fumed. I told Eeka the price and how long it would get there. 


"Hell, you could have gotten it cheaper through the regular post office. It's only 4 bucks for anything there, and takes three days."


I could have killed her. I contemplated it. I really did, but then who would change her son's ass? Sure as hell wouldn't be me. I've seen the damage that thing could do. Saved by her son's butt. She should be thanking her lucky stars. You could say that the love and friendship we have would be enough to save her, but no. It was the diaper changing. The poop. I love you Eeka, and if you read this, know that I love you, but if you ever do that to me again, I will.. I don't know, stomp on your baby toe or something.


So I sent Lubie a text, telling her that the bukkit would be there sometime at the end of next week, and to look for it. All that for a friend's I'm-so-proud-of-you-for-going-to-college gift. What a crock of shit. I also left her with strict instructions to NOT OPEN IT, until I could see her do it on web cam. She pouted, but she assented. 


Everyday she waited anxiously for that bukkit to get there, only to be as disappointed as I was about it taking so damn long to get there. What the hell was it's path? Was it going around the world? I mean, seriously. Three days tops! But noooo, a whole flipping week!


Friday rolled around, and still, no bukkit. I checked religiously at the UPS website, following the tracking number only to be told that it was en route, and would get there late in the evening. Lubie and all our friends were online. It was Bukkit Day. A new holiday. We had been talking about it all week long and everyone was sitting on pins and needles. We waited, and waited.. and the day kept going on. Where the hell was that bukkit?! I checked again, but to no avail. Nothing had changed. It was still en route. 

This is true. Only bills show up when you don't want the mail.

Lubie didn't give warning. She didn't say anything about waiting anxiously except for that she was listening for the door. All the sudden, she popped back up online typing as fast as her little fingers would allow. The bukkit.. had arrived! 


She was so excited, she posted a picture on Facebook of her hugging the package.

"Oh bukkit, how I love you!"

Then of her trying to gnaw her way into it.

Om nom nom!

Then finally, after the web cam was turned on, I allowed her via Internet, to open her bukkit. I've always seen kids in those Christmas movies acting all excited and happy about things they have gotten, and the joy that lit up their faces at the gifts, but I can't ever say I've actually SEEN it, including in the few pictures of myself as a baby. But here is Lubie, 21 years old, flailing and bouncing and glowing, ACTUALLY GLOWING, with excitement at the stupid shit I just bought her. Nothing was to cheap, or stupid, or kid like. She loved it all. That was actually worth seeing. It was worth all the irritation at the My Little Pony coloring book, the evil bad news lady at the UPS store, and the weeks worth of disappointment at hoping that it might just show up early. 


Lubie tried out everything. She poured Sunny D in the Sippersaurus and drank from it's ass. 

Sunny D from a dinosaurs ass is amazing! :D

She put a tattoo on her foot, in the same place where I have a real tattoo on my foot. 

And she shared with everyone what she got. 

Including her awesome eraser.

But the best part of all this, isn't so much her getting her gifts, it was the after affect. Lubie herself had been having such a shitty week, that this actually made it totally worth it. Erased all her bad days and made her forget all the crap that had happened. Later that night when she got a call from her mom, she shared with her how happy the bukkit had made her and all the things she had received, and that's when her mom came up with a pretty awesome fucking idea.


Take the bukkit, and pass it along. Pass on the happiness that it brought to you. Maybe she had been reading to much Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, but we didn't care. The second that Lubie told us the idea, we jumped on it like fat kids on cake. Addresses were passed around, and rules made up by all of us. Now, let me explain by who I mean when there are all of us. Most of us are girls, but there are a few guys. We've all met online at one specific site, and for the most part, we've all been really good friend for a couple of years. No, we've not met in person yet, but we're still pretty close. Like a circle of best Internet friends. I will most likely be talking about them a lot, because we have some pretty awesome stories and funnies that should be shared, but I won't go into it right now. 


So now, the bukkit sits in Lubie's house, waiting to be filled with a few things before getting sent off. We've all exchanged addresses, and even made up a small wish list of some items we wouldn't mind getting. There's even a journal that will be sent along with the bukkit, for entries, and even a picture of that person holding the bukkit in their possession. (That is actually one of the rules, you have to take a picture of yourself with the bukkit, put it in the journal, and send it off to the next person.)


To make it more interesting, the next person is chosen at random. That way, the happiness is just as random. You have to complete the whole circle before someone can receive it again. A sticker or possibly a small drawing is to be put on the bukkit itself. When the journal gets full, the next person to receive it, gets to keep the journal, and then replaces it with a new one, starting us all over again. 


Who knew, that when I ran around like a chicken with my head cut off, I would be inspiring an idea to spread happiness to multiple people. Bringing relationships closer. Ensuring our Internet friendship was more then that, but a solid, real, lasting friendship between a dozen people.


I knew I was awesome. 

The bukkit of Awesomeness.